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Ego - Lifting and Otherwise

Ego - Lifting and Otherwise

Thoughts as of 4/15/2024

These thoughts have been percolating for some time, and there are many more illustrative examples outside of lifting, but I feel that the point is easier made with lifting.

In terms of religious or philosophical concepts, I have a lot of work to do to understand what exactly the ego is, and what exactly pride is, but I know they are both very dangerous.

C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity made me think about pride more seriously for the first time. All of the quotes about pride being the worst sin, or compared to the devil himself I was able to brush past as hyperbole, but upon reflection, it makes sense.

Similarly, ego I have never taken all that seriously; however, books like Ryan Holiday’s Ego is the Enemy, and other schools of thought that warn of the dangers of ego have been a part of my knowledge consumption over the past few years.

One of the catalysts for taking these concepts more seriously was an instance in the weight room and then an instance in investing where ego was framed as a culprit both times in quick succession.

I was talking to a friend and said I really want to bench 405 lbs, which if I am being honest, would be incredibly cool to do. He quickly replied that the goal was entirely ego-driven.

Similarly, in investing, I was talking about my hesitancy to participate in certain markets given that performance and valuation were at all-time highs. I thought back to the various points over the past few years where I had thought XYZ company was clearly undervalued and then wasn’t able to take a position for one reason or another.

In sharing these frustrations, the other person let me know that it was entirely my ego that thinks that I can outperform and make these market calls like some sort of oracle.

The toughest part was, they were (and are) both right.

Another aspect in the fitness realm that I have realized is held back by my ego is the learnings I have had from reading a book recently.

In learning about the minimally effective dose and research that says that my lifting strategy is actually not the most efficient way to train for my specific goals, and that I am wasting time and effort to achieve worse results is hard to swallow.

If I were to admit that this other training method that is minimalistic and incredibly targeted would actually be more effective than my current training split, then it would mean I have been wasting time and moving backward for the past few years.

Talk about cognitive dissonance.

This is something that I struggle with the most within my own head.

When there is another person involved and I am wrong, I am usually able to bite the bullet and admit I am wrong, often gladly so.

However, when it is just me in my own head thinking about how to structure different parts of my life or how to behave in certain situations, I like to think that I have it all figured out.

I have been continuing in my blissful ignorance as of late since there is a lot of other uncertainty in my life, and an overhaul of my training regimen would be cumbersome intellectually to manage.

While the dust is settling in my daily life, I have convinced myself I am content pounding my head against the wall in the meantime, just for the comfort of routine.

Perhaps one day I will overcome my own ego, but up to this point, it has been a one-sided match.
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