The Provisional Life

Thoughts as of December 2024.

“The provisional life might be defined as a vague malaise: current relationships, work, and lifestyle feel like placeholders until the ‘real thing’ arrives—someday.”

I have meant to write about this concept for several months - ironic, right?

I feel as though I am finally settling in after being in limbo for some time.

It is easy in the chaos of day-to-day life where constant stimuli are coming at you from every direction, and you need only to open your phone or computer to be exposed to a ceaseless barrage of information.

I have become aware more recently of myself and others saying “I am too busy for X” or “I want to do Y I just have not gotten around to it.”

I am just as guilty as the next person. It seems like we are waiting and waiting and waiting until the day where we finally have time to tackle all of these to-do’s and get down to zero.

The problem for me is that when I do get a moment of respite at night or on a weekend, I often squander it on social media or get distracted with trivialities as the to-do list tasks loom larger and larger.

Prior to the job transition, I had far more excuses.

Not sure where I would live, what car I would drive, what my job would be, my relationship status, distance from friends and family, and several other primary categories to construct one’s life were all in limbo for far longer than I wanted them to be.

It was easier then to punt and punt and punt and kick the can down the road to this chimerical land of certainty.

Now that I am in a semi-stable job, in an apartment that is semi-stable, with a car, relationships, and schedules that are stable and predictable, things are far better.

Looking back at journal entries and thoughts from that time in my life does not make me envious.

But now that I have exited limbo, what do I have to show for it?

Well, the return of this blog is certainly a start, but we will see how long this lasts.

One of my favorite Stoic quotes - “the one thing all fools have in common, is that they are always waiting to begin.”

I am out of my self-proclaimed limbo.

This is my life. I am 25 and going on 26.

Reading several biographies of great men of history makes me feel inadequate with my life to date, but there are plenty of examples of late bloomers.

The time is now to start defining goals and making progress.

The excuses are never-ending, time will tell if I am full of it or not.

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The Largest Red

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